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Chinese Women in Love and Marriage

A Guide to Happiness in Cross-Cultural Relationships

(renamed from "A Guide to Find a Chinese Bride" in September 2006)

Dawn Xiao Yan Li

Author

Scott P. Merry

Editor

First published June 2006 © Asian Promise Ltd. 2006

Let's bridge the gulf of misunderstandings & intolerance, cultivate cultural awareness & diversity

through intercultural love and marriage, and lead to a better world in which to live!

Contents

Introduction

1. A Brief History of Chinese Marriage

Men were dominant for thousands of years
Marriage reform over the last decades

2. Chinese Women in Dating and Marriage

The past: Victims of marriage
Chinese women today
How Chinese women differ from other Asian women?
How Chinese women differ from Western women?
Why choose Chinese ladies?
Why Chinese ladies choose you?

3. Dating Chinese Women

Your honesty wins her honesty
Dating her online
Wisely mastering your dating progress
Sex

Money
Precautions

4. How to Communicate Well

Sincerity and Honesty
Openness
Be aware of difference in background
Reassurance
Help her learn English
Choose the right communication tools

5. Chinese Cultural tips on Dating and Marriage

General culture tips
Food cultural tips

6. Getting Married - Paperwork

Marry her in China
Marry her in your country

7. Afterword

Please Download "Chinese Women in Love and Marriage" Now

The e-book runs on the Windows operating system only. Once the book is downloaded, it can be updated by re-downloading it on the same computer at any time. The book was first published in June (the first 3 chapters) and completed in July 2006 (around 35,000 words). The book is available for anyone to buy. The cost is US$25 per e-book. Download the e-book first in each case and follow the instructions inside the book.

Do you believe? The first 10 copies of the book were sold in two weeks before it was completed!

Some of the questions you all want answers to..

What love, marriage and family values are held by Chinese women today?
Do Chinese women find western men attractive?
Why do Chinese women choose Western men? Why choose Chinese women?
How Chinese women differ from other Asian and Western women?
Can love exist with different cultures and backgrounds?
How to communicate well with someone from a different culture and background?
How to find a Chinese bride through the Internet?
How do I write my profile? How do I write my first email to her?
Will the relationship be built on personality, friendship and integrity, not money or others?
How do I know her sincerity and her intention?
How do I know she is my Miss/Ms right? What are the good questions for me to ask?
How do I master my dating progress with her? Can I sleep with her after 1 or 2 dates?
What is the right time for me to visit her in person if we meet online? Should I visit her first?
Is it safe to travel to China? Can she visit me first?
What does sex mean to Chinese women? Can I discuss sex with her?
How to improve our communication if her English is not so good! How can I help her English?
Cultural Tips on dating Chinese women
Communication tips for long distance relationships
Warning tips to protect you from being cheated
How long does it take to get fiancé visa and how to process it?
What documents are required if I marry her in China?
More questions? ... Please read the book.

Find the answers in "Chinese Women in Love and Marriage"!

Please Download "Chinese Women in Love and Marriage" Now

The author was Interviewed by "City Weekend", www.cityweekend.com.cn,

the largest privately owned English language magazine in China on 6 September, 2006. Please see Interview.

Book Review - by Richard Kaser

The statistics have shown that there are more and more cross-cultural relationships emerging as the world becomes increasingly international. “Chinese Women in Love and Marriage - A Guide to Happiness in Cross-Cultural Relationships ” is a production of the new era. It guides Western men to date Chinese ladies for love and marriage. It helps Westerners to achieve happy cross-cultural relationships with Chinese women. The book was renamed from "A Guide to Find a Chinese Bride" in September 2006 to closer reflect the books contents and aims.

The book is written by a cross-cultural relationship expert with a unique perspective on relationships between Western men and Chinese women, built on her own life experience and from 6 years of running the dating website Asian Promise. Lots of true stories have been used to demonstrate the author’s views and suggestions in the book.

The book begins by briefly looking at the historical background of marriage in China to gain perspective on Chinese thoughts and philosophy of marriage today. It then focuses on Chinese women, their experiences and expectations of marriage in the past and present and the differences compared to the rest of Asia and the West. Chapter 3 then gets to the meat of the questions that Westerners all have. It provides a comprehensive guide on dating Chinese ladies with a special section on online dating - a popular method for cross-cultural dating today. The book covers very practical issues such as how to start your search, what to write, when to visit, how to avoid being cheated and more sensitive subjects such as sex and money.

Chapter 4 looks at the universally important subject of communication, but which is even more important here due to the cultural and differences. The author highlights many possible areas of conflict and misunderstanding and explains the cultural background from which these might arise. The key message is that differences are not necessarily bad, but that good communication skill is the key to success. The remaining chapters provide very practical and relevant cultural tips and advice on how to go about getting married whether in China or in the West.

The book has given an insight into Chinese women and helps Westerners to understand Chinese women comprehensively. Until now, what information can be gleaned about Chinese ladies today is still scarce, shallow and even biased. Therefore, besides its practical value, “Chinese Women in Love and Marriage” is also a useful reference book for Chinese study.

You are truly welcome to send us your comments and suggestions for the book

I am the fiance of your member Jie(1846). I would like to say I am very thankful to you for your wonderful book "Chinese Women in Love and Marriage" . After reading it, I understand a lot about Chinese women and Chinese cultures; it helped me understand Jie much better and smoothed away many difficulties in front of us. Jie is a very wonderful woman. I am very lucky to have found her and also feel very lucky to read your wonderful book and follow your nice advice about how to communicate with Chinese women. Thanks again for your book.
- Jeff (USA)

Thanks for Dawn's book and all her help! Dawn has given me good advice and it truly has been helpful. If not for Dawn, I might not have gone to China and met my beautiful wife to be.
- Scott (USA)

This is a fabulous book and just what I wanted. I feel love in Chengdu but your book is just what I need to make sure. I have met a lovely lady on the internet and I am travelling to China in October to meet her, then Dawn's book is a "Godsend" because it seems to answer all those questions that go through your mind and enlightens you on many aspects of the cultural differences but fills you with a certain confidence that you are doing the right thing and that it is not so unusual after all!

Dawn's book answers all the questions for anyone serious about a lasting relationship with a Chinese woman. How can you find out answers to questions about culture, etiquette etc. if you haven't lived there among the people? You cannot and furthermore even if you did live there you would have to either learn Chinese very quickly (impossible!) or be lucky to find someone who can speak very good English and who is very knowledgable about all the subjects Dawn tackles in her book.
- Allen Van Halle (United Kingdom)

I have read all of the book, and I must say I found it interesting reading.
- David (New Zealand)

Great Book! I loved your book - “Chinese Women in Love and Marriage.” The content was very clearly written and well organized and gave me confidence in how to approach a relationship with a Chinese woman that I had met online before purchasing your book. I shall travel to Beijing to meet her next month to see if our relationship is meant to be. I had a question on how to obtain your other book written in Chinese for my girlfriend that she might also be enlightened to Western Culture as I have been to hers. Thank you so much,
- Chris (USA)

The book is very well written. Thank you very mcuh.
- Tim (Australia)
It is wonderful to read Dawn Xiao Yan's new book "Chinese Women in Love and Marriage". She has painted a very real picture of Chinese women on the marriage in the past and nowadays. I have to say Dawn is the right person to write this book.
Although it is a book to help Western men to find Chinese lady for love, however as a Chinese lady, I also find helpful. I am appreciated that the book helps me to discover myself, which I never tried before, such as how I differ from western ladies, what the value I have as a Chinese woman in Western men’s eyes. As you can see, being a divorced woman with a kid, plus higher education than most of Chinese men, it is difficult for me to find a Chinese partner in China. The discovery has given me more confidence on searching my happiness in an cross-cultural marriage.
To develop a cross-cutural relationship is not easy as we all could imagine. It is a hard work especially for us to meet online. It needs more patience, energy, belief and perseverance. Currently I have been dating with a guy from USA for10 months. He is very sincere and a very good guy. However we haven’t met in person, which has made me difficult to keep being patient and confident. I have introduced this book to my boyfriend recently. Hopefully with "Chinese Women in Love and Marriage - A Guide to Happiness in Cross Cultural Relationships", we will develop our relationship easier and happier.
- Ping (China)

The book is provocative. I think the combination of Mao's regime on top of the thousands of years of male-Sky domination certainly created problems for love in China. And the empty materialism of the modern big-business China is no solution either. I think there is a genuine opportunity for open-minded, stable American gentlemen to find true love and happiness with your website and book.
- Kris / ID 1209 (USA)

"… a number of well-educated, middle-income women in Beijing were generally convinced by Dawn Xiao Yan Li's portrayal of their fair sex. One affluent Chinese said she was uncomfortable being asked to read Dawn’s book, but after delving through the chapters, was pleasantly surprised by the accuracy of the author's words."
- City Weekend, www.cityweekend.com.cn, the largest privately owned English language magazine in China