Abstract from Chinese Women in Love and Marriage written by Dawn Xiao Yan Li
To help you to learn and adjust to Chinese cultures, I have listed the following cultural tips that are related to dating and marriage. Chinese cultures are the products of Chinese history. If you know Chinese history or you have read chapters 1 and 2 of this book, then you will understand the Chinese cultures below easily.
1. During dating, many ladies are still a little coy and would like to be chased by men rather than initiating moves. If they do write to you first, please be encouraging, polite and responsive.
2. Good education means a good future in China , so be understanding if she pays more attention on one’s education level than you do (refer to Chapter 4).
3. Good financial status means security, which is important for the relationship to Chinese ladies. It is different from being money-minded.
4. People’s salary, age and health are not treated as private matters and can be asked about.
5. Ladies who have divorced or widowed, with or without children, have difficulties in finding a husband again in China . Here is your chance to find a mature and charming Chinese lady!
6. If she has a good command of English, she is normally well educated.
7. If she speaks little English, it doesn’t necessarily mean her English is bad. It could be that she has had no chance to practice. Be patient, she will pick it up soon.
8. It is common not to have a religion in China because religions had been banned in Mao’s time (refer to Chapter 1).
9. Please let her know your intentions in dating cause many ladies are still dating for marriage only (refer to Chapter 2).
10. She may not be so punctual, good at booking ahead or keeping to dates or appointments. Please give her a chance to learn the Western way on timing and booking.
11. In a date, men are expected to pay for dinners, shows, and other expenses. Sharing the cost is too advanced a manner for her during dating (refer to Chapter 3).
12. Most ladies can not drink alcohol, therefore for either social occasions or for a date, going out for dinner is strongly recommended instead of going out for a drink.
13. Most ladies are too shy to say “I love you”. They may say “I like you” instead.
14. Chinese ladies show their feelings in an elegant and indirect way. They may love you very much, but not telling you or showing it on the surface.
15. Most ladies show their love by looking after you, e.g. your outfit, your food, your health and etc. It doesn’t mean that she wants to control your life.
16. If your girlfriend helps you to tidy up your room on her visit or look after you when you are sick, it means that she likes/loves you and wants to do something for you. Do not feel offended.
17. Asking about people’s health and looking after him/her when he/she is unwell is one of the important ways to show your concern and love to him/her.
Read more cultural tips… please go to Chinese Women in Love and Marriage