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unique Asian dating service to our men. We hope you enjoy it and
will find your beautiful Asian bride
through Asian Promise.
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contribution to Asian Promise would be very much
appreciated.
“In
the depths of my heart and soul I feel that all humans on planet earth
are the outer manifestation and living essence of the same spirit. It is
our cultural influences and indoctrinations that tend to make
individuals appear to behave somewhat differently. And even though we as
people of the world have different outward appearances, we all have the
same inner spirit, the ‘human
spirit’.
We as humanity must learn to love each other
and live together in peace. Intercultural love and marriages are one way
to bridge the gulf of misunderstandings and intolerance, cultivates
cultural awareness and diversity, and lead to a better world in which to
live.”
In
late 2004 Dawn Xiao Yan Li conducted an email survey for the chapter on
Western attitudes toward love and marriage in my book(Chinese language) [2]. I sent the
questionnaire to fifty Western men from our Asian Promise, ranging from
thirty to sixty years of age. One of the twelve questions I posed was:
“Do
you think Chinese women are different from Western women? If yes, how?”
The
answers I received were all definitely “yes”, noting both cultural
and physical differences. The results were very close to those found in
my own cross-cultural experience. The answers are summarized below [3]:
§Western women tend to be the equal
of their male counterparts. Because of this many tend to act like men.
Chinese women are not afraid to be women. Chinese women have opinions
and work hard and disagree with their loved ones too, but they still
remain feminine.
§Western women are more direct,
outgoing and experienced in love. They know what they want and achieve
it with much confidence. Chinese women are more timid, more reserved,
and less confident. They often put others’ views and feelings before
their own, which causes them to lose some of their own personality.
§Western women put more value on the
quality of the marriage, while Chinese women give more value to the
marriage itself. Therefore Chinese women are more willing to overcome
their difficulties or even live with the difficulties within the
marriage, rather than abandoning it entirely.
§Western woman are more independent
than Chinese women in general.
§Chinese women are willing to work
hard and save money because the memory of their old lives is still
fresh. They tend to worry about tomorrow rather than to enjoy today.
§They have a different style of
beauty: Chinese women have black hair, brown eyes, smooth hairless skin,
more petite bodies, and exhibit a quiet oriental elegance.
As
Western men have many reasons to choose Chinese women, so do Chinese
women have many reasons to choose you. For them, too, it also depends on
the person and differs from one to another. The following are reasons I
have seen in my
experience with Asian Promise:
§More choice
Many
people cannot find their match nearby. In order to have more choice,
they must broaden their search. As China
opens its door and the Internet becomes more widely available,
international dating becomes possible. As the world become more and more
international, the dating market will become bigger and bigger. More
choice means more chance for her to find the best match.
Moreover,
Chinese men do not prefer women who have had a divorce or who already
have children, which makes it very difficult for these Chinese women to
find a new marriage inside
China
. Because of this, these Chinese women choose to search for love outside
of
China
(an important reason that Asian Promise has experienced). These women do
not mind leaving their own country, giving up their well-paid jobs or
meeting the challenges of a new culture – they want love and to be
loved again.
§Improving quality of life
Improving
one’s quality of life through marriage is a tradition in
China
. Although nowadays many single Chinese women have a good income and
life, there are still many women from remote places in
China
living a more basic way of life. To them, the Western world is a modern
world and offers a better life and better opportunities. A good quality
of life is a good foundation of the marriage. These women want to find a
husband to love and to be loved, and they also hope he will bring them a
better life. Sometimes a better life doesn’t mean money and a house,
but rather spiritual nourishment.
§Love of Western culture
Many
educated Chinese women have been to the West or have had experience with
Westerners in China
. They are familiar with Western culture and like the culture very much.
They like Western gentlemen who respect ladies and treat them well in
public and
at home, qualities which are not commonly seen
in Chinese men within
China
. Being a “Big man” both in public and at home are still common in
China
.
They
like the ability of Western men to put personality above age and
appearance, as well as their more refined tastes in sex, which is not
solely based on physical needs. Westerners accept, and enjoy, a Chinese
woman’s children as well as the woman herself. All in all, Chinese
women are pleased with the Western attitude towards love and marriage.
§Physical attraction
To
some Chinese women, Western men look sexier and more attractive – they
are muscular, large, have clear facial features, hairy skin, blue eyes,
and are gentle and humorous.
§Chance
Falling
in love without expecting to: In this case, the couples are normally not
aware of the difference in race or culture before falling in love. In
the end, it is two people together.Cultures, beliefs and values are all worked out
by the people. As the world becomes more
internationally connected, more and more cross-cultural love,
relationships and marriages will fill this category.
§Money or passport
Just
like some women anywhere else in the world, there are some Chinese women
who want money or a foreign passport and will use Western men to get
them. These women are different from women who want to improve their
quality of life through love and marriage. They are not
interested in love, but in material gain.
Amongst these women, some are not aware of the existence of things more
valuable than money. Their attitude towards life might change if they
could receive a better education.
I
understand that women wanting money and a passport are big concerns for
Western men when they date ladies from poorer countries. I will address
this issue again in the following chapters.
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